Yes, these products are really for sale on Amazon.

These kid products will get you some strange looks if you’re caught with them in your house. Worse yet, you should only give any of these as gifts to a parent or parent-to-be if you are hoping never to be invited over to see their kids again (with the exception of item #1 which will guarantee you receive Godfather status).

Here are your Top 10 worst baby & kid items available to buy on Amazon.com:

$17,000 Pacifier (3 carat diamond & 14 carat white gold)

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What better way to one-up your friends & neighbors than with this practical pacifier.

Be warned, there is some debate within the Customer Reviews about the quality of the diamonds, so you may want to investigate the cut, clarity and color.

Perfect baby gift next time you are invited to the baby shower of Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, or any other celebrity with more money than sense. Only 3 left in stock last time I checked, so hurry for yours.

Also don’t forget to take advantage of the seller’s special offer – save $5.00 when you spend $49.99!

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BOB TV & Video Game Timer

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BOB cuts the power off when the TV time hits a pre-set limit.

46 Amazon reviewers have given BOB 5 out of 5 stars!

Gadget to outsource parenting – Check

$78 down the drain – Check

Nurturing resentment, mistrust, and avoiding unwanted conversations with your child – Check

Is the parent who buys this really surprised their child would rather spend more time with the TV than with actual people?

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Mommy’s Helper Kid Keeper (aka The Leash)

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We’ve all seen parents using these and had the same initial reaction – that kid looks more like the family pet.

Below are excerpts from positive Customer Review comments:

* This leash is okay, it does the job but my son hates it.

* The neck straps could have more cushion, as they press and dig into the child’s neck if he falls or tries to hang on the leash.

* My son’s not thrilled about being tethered.

* Allow the child to become accustomed to the harness BEFORE going out in public — take the child for walks around the house or in the yard.
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Foam Safety Helmet

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This poor baby’s expression says it all.

The scariest part is how many parents actually buy & use these. Let the embarrassment begin.

Worth the $45 investment when you enroll your baby in a Nerf War or paintballing playgroup.

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Potty Training Urinal

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This is a great use of $30, and the first in a series of 3 toilet-related necessities on the list.

What little boy doesn’t have an at-home urinal on his Christmas list?

For those inevitable times when your son is away from his urinal, see below for another Number One option.

What little boy doesn’t have an at-home urinal on his Christmas list?

Simple to use, easy to empty, easy to clean – what more could you want when you spend $30 on an at-home urinal? Get this one on your Amazon Wish List pronto.

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Tinkle tube

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Always keep one of these handy in the car for those unfortunate moments when you run out of empty plastic bottles and can’t be bothered to pull over to a rest stop (you know who you are!).

How did little boys manage for so many years with only trees for the emergency pee-break?

And don’t forget to purchase this together with the next product to protect hands from misses or spills.

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Potty Mitts

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These disposable mittens are a warning sign on the slippery slope toward treating your kid like bubble boy.

How about teaching kids to wash their hands with soap & water instead of turning them into Melvin Udall from As Good as It Gets?

Nothing says “I love you” like passing OCD on to the next generation!

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Time Out Pad

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The grandparents will never let you forget this one if they see it in your house.

This gadget does seem to turn time outs into a fun game (it’s even listed under the Toys & Games category) – maybe that’s why it has so many 5-star reviews on Amazon?

Ideal for parents who forget kids are sitting in time out, as it has an automatic timer feature to remind them when it’s over (can’t say that’s never happened to me!).

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The Daddle

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A $35 saddle for dad to wear while he gives horsey rides. How have the generations before us been able to make horsey rides fun without this amazing product?

If you buy this for your friend, chances are they won’t be your friend for very long.

Better yet, buy one for grandpa too – that should go over really well.

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Kaloo Blue Perfume for Babies

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Perfume for a baby! Is there really any more that can be said about this one? Ridiculous.

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